Drunk Quote of the Night: "Why are we still sending children to kindergarten? All they do is eat burritos and sing about letters!" 2AM Monday Text to Katie (I would just like to say; I didn't text you, vodka did.)
So, lets get real, Science Fiction real. Last week, I had the flu, and I did what any normal teenage with an unhealthy obsession with geekery does, I watched the entire Star Wars saga(Three Times). While contemplating how badly the Phantom Menace had soured the series I was struck by a thought. Jedi's get there powers from midi-chlorians, which when present in sufficient numbers can potentially allow the symbiont to 'feel' the Force. Yes? So putting it into context; Jedi's are basically space kids who chicken pox and then developed super powers...all I ever got was itchy.
Now, that was in no way an introduction, but this sure is: Hello Sunshine and Happy-Fucking-Wednesday! Aren't you glad that were one day closer to Flash a Trucker Friday!
So all mocking aside, there are genuinely things I do like about Canberra! One of them is this little place called Jazz Apple Cafe and well, its my Nirvana. (The religious Nirvana just to specify). What does it sell? Its sells dreams! Its sells happiness! It sells orgasms! Oh, and it sells cupcakes...well mostly cupcakes. Now generally I find myself at this joint, at least once a week; and this week I realised, that Canberra needs a legit Cupcake Appreciation Society. Now ya'll tell me you wouldn't join that shit.
Now, that was in no way an introduction, but this sure is: Hello Sunshine and Happy-Fucking-Wednesday! Aren't you glad that were one day closer to Flash a Trucker Friday!
So all mocking aside, there are genuinely things I do like about Canberra! One of them is this little place called Jazz Apple Cafe and well, its my Nirvana. (The religious Nirvana just to specify). What does it sell? Its sells dreams! Its sells happiness! It sells orgasms! Oh, and it sells cupcakes...well mostly cupcakes. Now generally I find myself at this joint, at least once a week; and this week I realised, that Canberra needs a legit Cupcake Appreciation Society. Now ya'll tell me you wouldn't join that shit.
This is really just an excuse to post a sexy montage of cupcakes. But if you need a reason; ANU Law students have been monitored over the past 3 years; and most students have had a 54% increase in cynicism. Basically what I'm saying is that even cynical assholes like cupcakes.
Speaking of cupcakes, they are one of the reasons why I am overweight. Now contemplating this issue, I realised that its not really my fault that I'm unhealthy and out of shape; like theres so many reasons. First, theres so many other things to do besides working out; sleeping, eating, sitting down...not working out. Then theres Kingsley's chips; have you smelt that store? I swear to God they could replace men. Another reason; burger king costs me like $5 and it keeps me full for hours, where as subway costs me $10 and I'm hungry an hour later...you do the math. More reasons? Winters coming, and I figure its always hard to find a nice winter coat, so I might as well just carry one around on my body? Convenience. Also for the same reason I'm single; working out is just like having a clingy boyfriend its always just like Do Me! Do Me! Lift this, squat there! In both situations, yo, just let me lie down and go to sleep! Doing jumping jacks with boobs....it just seems so naughty...and it feels weird (Like honestly; what if there were people in our boobs and every time we did a jumping jack it's like an earthquake for them - I don't want to hurt nobody!) When someone asks me Do you want fries with that? I'm not gonna, say no, I don't wanna be rude! Its not working right? Eh fuck it I'll have a cupcake.
Now I'm straight; but I'm just putting it out there, if Megan Fox is ever wondering, my thighs are currently available for face framing activities if she so chooses.
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